Hello there internet, it has been a while. I’ve been neglecting my very important duties as wordsmith and all around hyperspace badass and for that I apologize. In the last few weeks I’ve tried a few new games, learned the ancient language of the Volcano, and eaten a frog. In these next posts I figure I’m gonna just run through the random games I’ve played since we last spoke (shut up im speaking) just so I can continue call myself a “blogger”.
“Hey Breedo what’re you doin’ this fine evenin'” “Oh u no me bro, bloggin’ fo’ sho’.” (If you didn’t know I rhyme at all times in my everyday speech, it gets very hard if I have to ask about a door hinge.)
NCAA 2010: OH SNAPS ITS BOLD TIME TO GET SERIOUS.
Now some of you may know that I enjoy a good game of the American Football. Yes, I’ll put ‘merica in front of it this time because A. ‘Merica always comes front, and B. I know my blog is blangin’ internationally and wish not to confuse my foreign patrons. Cheerio good mates cheerio! Anyways, football to me as a child was never interesting. “Me as a child” didnt like catsup either so we can’t very well trust him anyway, can we? I was always tall for my age and would be asked at times by my elders about sports. “Breedo! How fare thee at thy ball of foot?” they would inquire, “Nay sir I fare not.” would be the solemn answer. “Tis a shame child, ’tis a mighty shame. Thou dost “wreck” thine competition.” Alas it was not to be. At the time I didn’t see the excitement in it, the majesty if you will. But now? Now I behold the majesty in all it’s glory like a half-eaten bacon sandwich warmed under the midday sun.
I got my hands on a copy of NCAA Football 2010 a few days ago. I subsequently played it for a total of 17 hours in a 3 day stretch with my good friend Mr. Peabody. Thats sportsmanship people. Mr. Peabody and I were living out all of our NCAA fantasies…the ones without the cheerleaders anyway…and even got to participate in the first ever Sacred Bowl, the unpalpable university of Kentucky against the esteemed University of Rutgers. This is a game that could happen at some point in the future and if it does I hope that I am there, witnessing it with my own eyes, but for now I must settle on the thousands of pixels grinding against eachother in unregulated bliss, known as the “Play Now” Mode. There’s a lot of different modes in this game, some I haven’t even tried yet, but one did stick out as my favorite…known simply as the Road to Glory. (RTG if you’re into slang. I am.)
RTG is basically pretending I’m in an alternate universe where instead of learning astrophysics and magic, I learned football. You make a “dude” and cover him in all the slimes that you feel necessary to make him yours, much like when you first got a pog as a child and had to “claim” it. We decided to make a Quarterback and see how large he could be. “Lotsa Cox” was born as a 7 foot tall 400 pound QB who went to Rape High High School. Once all that nonsense is taken care of, you get to finish out his high school senior year and try to impress scouts in the state playoffs. We made his hometown in Fayette Kentucky…fancy that…and sent him out.
Lotsa made an immediate impact in his first game throwing 6 touchdowns and winning in a blowout. He mainly did this by audibleling every run play so much so that Rape High didn’t have a single rushing yard. Mr. Peabody and I imagined his coach standing on the sidelines screaming “DAMMIT DIX YOURE A LOOSE CANNON” and then Lotsa would shout back “NAMES COX SIR”, needless to say he only ran around half of his coaches plays. Anyways we made it through the games easily enough stomping all the competition and won the championship. Then Lotsa was presented with the colleges that had offered him a contract, which was literally every school in the game. The neat thing about this is you don’t get to start everywhere though as obviously number one Florida doesn’t need a rookie quarterback so theres accurate depth charts, at least for the 2010 season. We considered going to Florida but decided since Lotsa was our first slime covered football child that we’d keep him home, he went to the University of Kentucky.
Here’s where I’d like to mention a connecting point of the whole RTC experience. Erin Andrews. The sideline reporter who I guess some people find attractive from the loading screens (PLAY ROAD TO GLORY FOR YOUR CHANCE TO BE FOLLOWED BY ERIN ANDREWS…YES…THE ERIN ANDREWS) I guess she’s pretty enough but that’s not the point I’m heading towards. What we noticed was that throughout your entire career, which is 5 years long mind you, she wears the same clothes in the videos. I understand she can’t wear a completely different outfit in every scene but one for ALL of them? Seriously? Mr. Peabody and I kept expecting her to come on the screen welcome us to the RTG segment and then beg to be freed from her invisible captors, “Please someone help…they’re not feeding me…” and then her producer yells “YOU EAT WHAT YOU KILL” and throws a rabbit on stage. Alright maybe we didn’t expect that exactly but she could have at least worn 3 or 4 different outfits. We probably wouldn’t have even noticed then.
Alright so this is also a good time to mention we changed Lotsa’s name to Breedo Jackson, deciding that as he matured so did his name, plus the other players were making fun of him :(. Breedo was the starting QB for UK so there was no reason to run practices which was great and got us to the games that much quicker. The first game was upon us quickly and it was against a pretty weak opponent. That didn’t stop Breedo from having what we dubbed as “the shakes” however. The shakes happen when your player is nervous or made a mistake, and it’s especially susceptible in happening at an away game. It causes your player to forget button assignments and routes and the controller to vibrate to express his nerves. No big deal we figured, Breedo can handle the pressure of his first ever college game. Well, we weren’t exactly right…his first game was probably his worst, but we did win and the shakes left him alone for the most part after that barring a few tough road games. Speaking of tough games the second start of his career was against number one ranked Florida, who beat us in a 62-64 triple overtime victory. We decided this game was too good to try to replay and left the loss in the books, especially after it awarded us an “Instant Classic” title.
I must stop here and really iterate how much this game felt like a real NCAA game. I was at the UK victory over number one ranked LSU two years ago and it was probably the best “football” experience I’ve taken part in. NCAA 2010 somehow manages to recreate that excellent tension and heavy air with amazing likeliness. Both Mr. Peabody and I thought that it was almost as good as a real game, and he wasn’t even playing.
So we continued Breedo’s freshman season and didn’t lose another game. He broke numerous school and NCAA records but for some reason still lost the Heisman at the end of the year. Also despite Kentucky’s amazing play in the SEC we never broke in the top 10 in the polls. We considered maybe the game has the bias that the NCAA holds to create more “realism” but I’d hope they’d let you be number one with anyone. I think it had more to do with our team only had two real star players and if Breedo had been injured or something they’d probably lose to any of the top 10 teams. Speaking of that the other star player besides Breedo was his “X” button wide receiver, a man we dubbed as Magnum. Magnum was in the running for the Heisman as well having broken a few records but didn’t win either. We ended up in the Capital One bowl against Michigan and had a very solid overtime victory in it. All in all I’d be happy if Kentucky came anywhere close to this bowl in actuality, so I can’t be discouraged we didn’t make the NCAA Championship or anything.
We did start on the next season and it appears to consider Kentucky a powerhouse now, mainly because Breedo is still on the team. We got some good recruits and were even ranked preseason and as of the last time I played we were 9th in the nation, after only 5~ games.
There are some other game modes we tried out and the same screen multiplayer is a blast but overall the Road to Glory mode was by far my favorite. I would like to try it at other positions, especially those that can’t audible to make the play include more action from them. The best part is that if you aren’t on the field or don’t like the play call you can just skip it and let the computer simulate it…not that you’d do this as a quarterback on offense but for a runningback it’d be helpful to skip those dang pass plays.
All in all I’d definitely recommend the game if you have any interest in College Football, but if you do you probably know all about it. If you don’t and are lookin for somethin different and new it could be up your alley though. I’ll talk about somethin’ less sporty next time probably Aion or Champions Online but until then I leave you with my favorite song off the new Protomen CD Act II called “The Good Doctor”.
Breedo thinks A. Merica would be the best name ever.