I don’t watch Monk. Not ever. I’ve seen a total of maybe an entire two episodes in bits and pieces. So you’re probably thinking “Who the hell do you think you are, comin in here all grandiose and magnificent swaggerin’ about like you know who Adrian Monk is. I’ve been watching him since he was on Wings!” Well let me tell you something my friend, I know enough to write gripping television. I’ve learned from the commercials and the small amount I’ve seen to come up with an episode even I could enjoy. I like to call it: “Mr. Monk and the heart of darkness.”
So from what I’ve gathered, Monk for these 7 seasons has been a obsessive compulsive detective with an “assistant” who plays the straightface to his oddball antics that often lead to humor and clever solving of mysteries. I’ve also learned that Monk had a wife and she was murdered by someone whom Monk’s never been able to catch…his only failure. Apparently her name was Trudy and she died in a carbomb…a friggin carbomb? Okay…
INT. MONK’S HOUSE
ADRIAN MONK is sitting straight up in a suit watching a home video. It’s very late at night. We can only see his face from the perspective of the television. The television is watching him. The colors change but his eyes never blink. We can hear the faint sound of a woman laughing.
The screen goes black. We come back to MONK standing his back to us now, a brazen siloutte against the white fuzzy snow of his television. Monk takes a deep breath, then two deliberate steps. He pauses turns towards the couch and wipes the wrinkles out of the seat cushion. He continues into the kitchen.
INSERT: A closeup of Monks feet as they touch the porcelain kitchen floor.
Monk takes a glass from his cabinet and begins to pour some water. His hand shakes violently. The glass slips from his grasp. It crashes into the ground. Elgar’s “The Enigma Variations” beings to play. Monk looks down at the broken glass and whispers
Monk violently slams his fist into the counter, turns abruptly and throws a stool into the glass cupboard. It shatters and the stool breaks. He kicks over another stool but loses his balance and collapses wheezing on the glass covered floor.
INT. MONK’S HOUSE
NATALIE TEEGER lets herself in when no one answers the door. The camera follows her through the house until she arrives in the kitchen to find Monk on the floor covered in minor cuts.
Oh Mr. Monk.
Monk opens his eyes.
I have to clean this up
No Mr. Monk, please you must see your doctor.
My doctor is dead Natalie.
Monk stands up and goes to the closet to grab a broom. He’s sweeping as Natalie talks.
Mr. Monk you can’t do this to yourself, you can’t do this to me! We’ve come too far for you to lose it like this we’re so close, we’ll find the guys who did it and we’ll bring them to justice.
Monk raises his eye to look at her but she can’t maintain eye contact
Besides you have friends who care about you, we all care about you. This isn’t worth it.
Monk continues sweeping. without looking up he asks
What did they find?
I’m not supposed to tell you.
Monk drops the broom and grabs Natalie by the shoulder. His hand digging into her shoulder like the claw of a bulldozer.
What did they find?
A name…they finally found a name…but I can’t, I won’t tell you…not when you’re like this. Please you need help.
Yes…Yes you’re right, I need help cleaning up this mess.
Alright so now that you understand the mood I’d set for this we’d eventually lead up to the final confrontation between Monk and his wife murdering nemesis. The nemesis in this case shall be named Senator Meanface.
EXT ABANDONED AMUSEMENT PARK (NIGHT)
Monk is holding a police issued pistol at arms length aimed at an elderly woman. Her back is to a ferris wheel and he’s standing 10 feet away, eyes unblinking.
You…you think you’re going to shoot me? Don’t make me laugh.
Why? (long pause) Why? WHY?
Are you really so dense? Did you think you’d never made enemies in all your years as a policeman?
Who are you?
My sister. You wouldn’t remember her she was just a no name drug dealer you caught in your vice days. What you didn’t realize was during her time in prison she was brutally murdered for some superficial reason. A reason I never learned. I thought I would return the favor, I thought I would make you hurt like I hurt.
You have no idea how I hurt
Monk fires the gun, clipping her in the shoulder.
I didn’t think you had it in you.
You don’t know me at all.
Monk starts the ferris wheel. The previously unseen rope around SM’s neck is revealed. It tightens around her neck.
I suppose you…think I deserve this?
I’ve been taught, in these past few years….We all get what we deserve.
SM’s feet slide across the ground shes pulled towards the ferris wheel. it lifts her slowly off the dirt.
Fitting words…You…caused all of this…this was all your…All…your
SM begins wheezing as she’s hanged from the back of the ferris wheel. Monk picks up the shell from his pistol and places it within his front pocket. He lays the gun next to the wheel, carefully not to cover it in dust and turns his back on her swinging body. The lights of the ferris wheel glow around him as he walks away.
“Adagop for Strings” by Samuel Barber begins to play. A caption appears to inform the audience that the Senator’s murder was never solved. Monk was never seen again in the town of San Francisco. The words “It’s a gift… and a curse.” appear on the screen. After the credits we see Monk eating a sloppy joe. The camera zooms in on his messy face, and then pans outward to show him sitting at a picnic table. He eyes the napkin next to him…picks it up…then rips it in half with a smile on his slop covered face.
There we have it a fitting end to Monk. Not only does he escape his ocd tendancies but he even uses them to get away with murder, the very thing he’s been solving the entirety of the series. The show began with one and now 7 seasons later it ends with one, running full circle…just like the ferris wheel.
Breedo came along with his shaky knees and he came with fire.