Wolverine Orgins: I’m too drunk to taste this mutant.


So, I saw the new Wolverine: Orgins last evening completely trashed,  if I had to put a tier with it I was at least Patrick Stewart drunk, probably subconciously for Professor X, but I don’t remember a whole lot of the movie except that it was awesome.  I’m a pretty big X-Men fan and as such I completely hated X3: Rush Hour Edition.  The only saving grace of that entire movie was Kelsey Grammar as Beast so I was hoping for this Wolverine movie to blow it out of the water.  From what I remember it did just that, although I am hesistant to watch it again completely sober in fear that it may have actually been terrible and the booze just made it great, so just in case let’s go through and see what I can recall that made me enjoy this movie so much more than that other trash. Hopefully it will quell my doubts, oh also there might be some small spoilers in here if you haven’t seen it yet, I’m not gonna give away the whole plot or anything but if you want it to be all surprises you should probably stop now.

1) Gambit 


Yes I know it may seem odd that my favorite part of the Wolverine movie is Gambit but he’s been my favorite X-man since the animated series. From what I remember in my drunken haze they did him justice in the film but his actual screentime was relatively brief.  I also think Wolverine beat him straight up which is a raging fight between fans as to who would win, but I can let that slide too I mean it is Logan’s movie.  Mainly as long as they had him throw cards speak with a cajun accent and wear a bitchin’ coat I was gonna be happy, and all that came to pass. It wasn’t like the Juggernaut from X3 who just randomly shows up and starts quotin’ internet memes with no mention of his actual orgin or the fact that he’s not even a mutant or that hes XAVIER’S STEP BROTHER but I digress.  The only thing I’m not sure of is Gambit’s age relative to the old X-Men movies.  The movie puts him a few years older than Cyclops so if he were introduced in X4 or something he’d have to be a little bit older than the other X-Men which is kind of odd but really nothing I can’t look past.


2) Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool    


Yes yes it’s another character besides Wolverine but Deadpool was such a monumental character in my childhood I had to include him too.  When I first started getting comics I picked up a copy of Deadpool because it was like issue number 2 and I figured I’d try it out because it was new. Joe Kelly’s run with the character and the complete change of the ordinary for him was so different and hilarious that I still read Deadpool books to this day.  So this is where Ryan Reynolds comes in, after Blade Trinity (Kill you? Mother fucker I’ll kill you.) most people realized that Ryan must play Wade.  I mean he basically already played him in that Blade flick just toss some red on him and give him some katanas and he’s perfect. So when it was finally announced people were ecstatic, and by people I mean me.  It’s the perfect match and Reynolds seems to really get the character which is great…The only problem is what happened to him in the movie itself.  

When Wade is introduced he’s literally perfect, cracking jokes, never stopping his mouth, pissing everyone off, its great, but let’s just say they took some very liberal changes to Wade’s orgin and basically screwed him up completely near the end of the film. It fit the story and if you didn’t know that was supposed to be Deadpool it’d probably be all well and good but because he IS supposed to be Deadpool it scared a lot of people. Reynolds has come out and said he wants to make a traditional comic Deadpool movie though so this could still be great, in fact as long as he has his way with it I’m sure it will be.

Speaking of messing around with characters they had Agent Zero in there who is a complete unknown if you don’t read comics, I however was a huge fan of the book Maverick.  It only had like a 20 issue run or something before it was cancelled but it was basically about Agent Zero and his escape from Weapon X and how he dealt with his past. He became Maverick working to stop Weapon X and attone for what he’d done, it had some really good story telling.  They can’t go that way in the films however because Agent Zero is a completely different guy, who from what I remember is just a straight homicidal monster akin to Sabertooth, which is odd because in the comics it’s Zero who always stopped Victor’s violent outbursts, not Wolverine.


3) Optic Blasts



If you’re a fan of Cyclops you automatically hated X3, it was a travesty. That movie basically made him the biggest pansy of any super hero movie ever.  People don’t blame the director or the story itself they blame James Marsden for wanting to leave with Singer to work on Superman Returns.  Really when compared to what he had left to work with in X3 I can’t blame him though.  Anyway young Cyclops has a pretty large appearance in Wolverine: Orgins.

I don’t remember at all what exactly was involved but I’m pretty sure Weapon X wanted him for their program and he was in school doin detention because some teacher was angry at him for not taking his glasses off in the classroom.  Now you would think, if there was a chance when you glance that you might blast the masses there’d be a doctor’s note or something you could get that says something to the effect of “Dear Madam Teacher Lady, Please allow Scott Summers to keep his ruby quartz glasses on, for without them he has enough solar powered uncontrollable energy blasts to blow this school down.  Your friend, The Doc” It’d be that simple but instead she yells at him and he gets detention? Alright I guess…so then I remember Sabertooth shows up and chases him and knocks his glasses off and he blows the school in half, I guess it didn’t come across young Scott’s untrained mind to shoot the guy chasing him instead. I mean only in this situation could Sabertooth ever give Scott some trouble, if they met now in the comics Scott would probably just blow his head off.

Anyways Scott’s not the only one with optic blasts. I guess the writers knew the audience loved them so much they just tossed them around like door prizes at the mutant carnival.  I expected Wolverine to just bust some out at one point but there’s a line they’re just not willing to cross, and I’ve found it. That’s okay though, if you’re a fan of the laser eyes and really who isn’t, Wolverine Orgins will not disappoint.


4) Alright fine… Wolverine   

He's got a Fonzi vibe in this one.

He's got a Fonzi vibe in this one.

Yes Wolverine was actually in his own orgin movie, go figure.  Not only was he in it but he was down right glorious.  There’s so many scenes where I was left just screaming curse words and thats exactly how it should be.  I think one of my favorite parts is in the very beginning where Logan and Sabretooth are working together in ww2 and what I guess is the civil war or something.  I literally at one point said “is he going to storm Normandy?” and 10 seconds later they were on the beach leaping towards Nazi embankments. If only Nick Fury and his Howlin’ Commandos were stormin the beach too, then we’d have the dream realized.

Some other good stuff were his interactions with the other mutants.  They threw a lot of extra mutant fodder at us in this one but unlike X3 that just seemed to do it to show how many names they could put out there, most of Wolverine Orgins characters were actually important to the plot. They had Blob included who never had anything to do with Weapon X but the way he was placed into the group he seemed like a perfect fit…plus “She’s a Gym-nast” is probably my new favorite saying of all time. Wrath is the only one who wasn’t completely neccessary to the plot and Emma Frost’s inclusion was pretty cool but it completely changes her orgin, not that this is always a bad thing. 

Overall I can’t complain about this movie especially in light of how terrible X3 was. I’m not certain I’d like it as much a second time through just because I was hit pretty hard by the drunk train to the point where if we had watched Bride Wars I’d probably be making a post about how awesome that movie was.  Although I don’t think you could blame me, I mean Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson are severe hotties. Anyways I’m gonna leave you with a song I been listenin’ to incessently for the last few days “Could This Be” by Lovers Electric.


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