I got a thirst for liquid gold.

Hello good internet, It’s been a long time. Today is the first tuesday of February. A good day. You know why? Groundhogs. OH YEAH.

Oh hells yeah. Look at that sumbitch. He’s got all the where withal of a young James Brolin with the fortitude of an aged Edward James Olmos. According to American folk legend groundhogs can predict the weather, if a groundhog emerging from its burrow on this day fails to see its shadow, it will leave the burrow, signifying that winter will soon end in six weeks. If on the other hand, the groundhog sees its shadow, the groundhog will supposedly retreat into its burrow, and winter will continue. It’s a dangerous game the groundhog plays, if he continues with winter he regains his home but is ostracized from society as a menace, a doomsayer. If winter ends he’s accepted into the budding world but loses his home. Theres no good choice for our friend the groundhog, in fact I’ve come to pity the fellow.

Now you may say, “but Breedo, you suave sexy beast…how can you pity that which wrought its own fate.” and I will say to you that wrought is a very tough word for someone with your usually limited vocabulary you may wish to take it down a notch, but do not dismay I’ll explain. Groundhogs don’t choose their fate, much like firemen or jet pilots they are thrust into the limelight by the hierarchy of modern society. Groundhogs are born for one purpose…to predict the weather. If you were taught from birth to…I dunno…make delicious cheese…and for one day a year the entire world burst into your home and demanded your greatest cheese than you’d probably be a little perturbed. Imagine then that you are a groundhog. How can you share your knowledge of the weather when in one paw you damn those who seek knowledge but in the other you damn yourself. The ramifications of such a task are staggering.

Now some believe it doesn’t fall on all groundhogs but in fact one single immortal groundhog soothsayer named Punxsutawney Phil. Normally I’m not one to bring science into casual conversation but this is an exception. An average wild groundhog doesn’t survive past one year of age. One year. Thats like 12 months. Even taking into account wild groundhogs caught in pokeballs thats still only 10 years at best. How are we to believe that theres a specific groundhog who has transcended the 4th dimension and controls time. We can’t. Instead a rogue faction of folklore experts believe that Phil is in fact a title. Much like the Dalai Lama, groundhogs pass on their beliefs in a deeply spiritual rite of passage. From my research I would suggest there have been at least 98 different Punxsatawney Phils, with even more likely.

So let’s piece it all together. Groundhogs have an esoteric religious society that runs solely on the belief that the weather can not only be predicted but controlled. No Punxsutawney Phil has had the explicit ability to control the weather but each has had a staggeringly accurate ability to predict it. Should a rogue Phil ever use his powers for the destruction of mankind the government has several safety protocols in place:

- The current Phil is only allowed from his den twice a year. Once on the second of February to predict the weather and once on his estranged daughter’s birthday. He still gets her coloring books even though shes in her teens. She still loves him though.

- The den of the current Phil is an embassy on United States soil. The Phil is protected from “man” law but still must conform to the (in some ways stricter) rodent law. No son of man may step upon land considered sacred by the son of ground.

- Should a national crises emerge Phil may be allocated to help. This has only happened twice in the history of the United States, the first being the end of the Great Depression and the second being the outcome of the Grammy awards in which the band Milli Vanilli was found lip syncing.

- The current Phil has a seat on the United States Senate.

These are the ordinances set in place during the tenure of President James Madison. They have lasted the test of time and continue to this day to keep the peace between man and rodent. Should any of these rules be broken catastrophe certainly looms so I hope, that for today…and all future Groundhog Days…a peaceful union between the two species remains.

Breedo will sing, sing, sing to the masses…Oh Heartland, up yours!

A dream.

It has been a long time dear internets, a very long time indeed. Everyday I see the icon for Pen Med on my homepage but for some reason I haven’t clicked it in quite some time, recently I just haven’t felt the urge to write anything…but tonight I was feeling different, I wanted to share something…a dream I had.

There was a room with nothing in it but a table, resting atop it was a long cardboard box of dull colors and no words. The table was covered in darkness but the room was relatively well lit, as if the box was in the reverse of a spotlight. I stepped towards it, reached my hand down and casually brushed the top. The colors drifted around the box and the top slid aside like the lid of a coffin. Inside was a folded board and a dozen or so metal trinkets.

The table had around it now four or five figures in heavy black cloaks, their movement stuttered like claymation, jagged and unnatural. I can’t say for sure how many they were because they moved constantly, all at once they were five separate beings and a single amalgamation. Each wore a mask, obscenely white like the comedy and tragedy masks of ancient Greek theater but these masks were as the figures, constantly changing shape and expression, with no face underneath and no eyes to see with.

No lips parted as they spoke in a voice that sounded like mine yet different, “Choose your piece.” I looked down towards the metal baubles but there was now only one, it looked like a bishop from chess. I reached to pick it up, and as I grabbed it the metal was so cold it numbed my fingers. The piece was also much much heavier than it looked, I could barely lift it in one hand. The board then opened on it’s own and my piece pulled my hand and instinctively placed itself on a gray square in the middle. The board itself was surprisingly smaller than it appeared in the box with tiles in haphazard unpredictable paths leading out from the center. The board’s outer edge was shimmering, not like gold more like snow, giving it a majestic beauty.

“Each game begins and ends the same, it’s the play that differs.” echoed my different voice. I looked down and saw each cloaked figure now had a piece on the board but theirs were unidentifiable to me, each looked exactly the same as the other but somehow I knew they were different, and that logic actually made it hurt to see them. There was no wheel to turn, no dice to roll but I knew that my turn was first so I began to move my piece. Each square activated a seemingly random memory that lit the room in vibrant colors, as if the room itself was the memory. It showed an endless blue carpet, a baseball mitt, the cabinet behind the door in the kitchen of my first home and other unremarkable things and moments of my childhood. I stopped moving my piece and the room went back to the neutral it began in.

The figures moved next, each piece across the board on its own, shuddering against the tiles as if each tile’s line was an invisible barrier. No memories played for the shadows, the room only grew darker as each got closer to my piece. The final turn they took actually led one of their pieces two squares behind mine and with each wall it broke my heart pounded harder. I didn’t know why but I knew their pieces must never catch mine. At my next turn I moved again, gliding my freezing bishop across the flat board. The memories came again and they were louder now, if that is something memories can be. I was riding a bike down a hill and into a bush, I was climbing the steps of my great aunt’s house, I was crying they didn’t have peanut butter sandwiches without jelly.

My entire arm was numb when I let go of the piece. The masks were in agony, their faces contorting violently…constantly into exasperated shapes. My piece was now far ahead of theirs but the end wasn’t in sight…in fact I hadn’t noticed until now but the board had no end. The tiles just kept impossibly going. I could see the edge shining against the darkened table but I couldn’t follow any of the trails to their logical conclusions. As the shadows moved their pieces slowly one by one across the squares I grew worried. They were going to catch me, this game has no end.

My turn came again and I decided I would go until I couldn’t go anymore. My piece moved at a much faster pace than I had the two prior turns, the memories blustered through like a steady breeze. I was in second grade praying for hurricane survivors, I was in a spelling bee trying to remember the letters for “transportation”, I was playing Sega Channel at the magical hour when the new games appeared, I was winning a prized slammer. I had to keep going, they must never catch me. Panic took me then, my arm wracked with pain as if being ripped from its socket and it was too much, my piece toppled over as I let it go.

The shadows took their turns delicately moving at a sinister pace. They didn’t seem to be gaining any ground until the final piece moved. It landed a single square behind my overturned bishop. My right arm stinging with pain I decided to go with the left on this turn, forcing my piece forward even faster than before. Memories floated by at such a pace I could no longer separate them. At the same time I ate lunch in 6th grade I was learning to drive in 10th. They became indistinguishable from each other, no longer a breeze but a wave, crashing around the room. The cloaked cratures no longer seemed in pain, their masks were oddly contemplative.

Without my realizing it my hand released the bishop and the color died again. The room seemed even darker than before and the shadows began to move their pieces. The first only made it a few squares, the next two made it six or seven…but I was easily a dozen ahead of the nearest…the last one. That piece shuddered to life on their last turn, sliding against the cracks on the board without a hitch. It closed in to five squares from my piece and began to slow, leaving each square became a trial but the indescribable trinket continued on. It finally got one square behind my piece and stopped abruptly, not from the board’s invisible barriers but obviously, even to me, from the shadow choosing to stop it. I went to speak, for the first time I realized, when my piece was ripped from the board by an ashen hand.

“No one wins at the game of life.” said a chorus of my voice in an echoing whisper. Then before me the charcoal fist crushed my bishop, shattering it into dust. My heart raced and i went to yell out and I awoke, thinking as loudly as I could “I WIN AT LIFE!” I sat up and realizing it was a dream began to laugh hysterically at what I was thinking. Yes…yes I do win at life.

Breedo wins at life.

Haiku Time!

Tarnot of the Wayward Bucket (oooh fancy) and I were discussing haikus for a class he’s taking. While reading his I realized the world needs more Magneto poetry so we came up with a few.

Bushido Gnome: red shining godking /electricity eyes glare / i break for shelter

timedingo: hahahaha

timedingo: the steel flows like wine. / swirling in clouds around you, / hell-bent to conquer

Bushido Gnome: the last line

Bushido Gnome: needs to be

Bushido Gnome: All hail Magneto

Bushido Gnome: torn apart like bread, /buildings collapse in his stead, /the tyrant in red

Bushido Gnome: this one called the blob,/ eats and eats and eats and eats, /may nothing sate him?

Bushido Gnome: mike ate the pizza,/ i paid for it why would he?/  cowabunga…dude

timedingo: how many syllables are emoticons

Bushido Gnome: i dunno

Bushido Gnome: i was hoping none

timedingo: hahahahahaha

timedingo: god that ending is hilarious

I’m going to be pretty busy this weekend, what with going to a PROTOMEN CD RELEASE CONCERT ON FRIDAY, and a UK Football game on Saturday.  I’m not sure when my next update will be, we’ll just have to feel it out. Until then bust it like a king and go down like a hero.  You feel me?

Breedo knows poetry like the back of his hand.

Are you ready for some ball of foot?

Hello there internet, it has been a while. I’ve been neglecting my very important duties as wordsmith and all around hyperspace badass and for that I apologize. In the last few weeks I’ve tried a few new games, learned the ancient language of the Volcano, and eaten a frog. In these next posts I figure I’m gonna just run through the random games I’ve played since we last spoke (shut up im speaking) just so I can continue call myself a “blogger”.

“Hey Breedo what’re you doin’ this fine evenin’” “Oh u no me bro, bloggin’ fo’ sho’.” (If you didn’t know I rhyme at all times in my everyday speech, it gets very hard if I have to ask about a door hinge.)

NCAA 2010: OH SNAPS ITS BOLD TIME TO GET SERIOUS.

NCAA Football. Now with more fire.

Now some of you may know that I enjoy a good game of the American Football. Yes, I’ll put ‘merica in front of it this time because A. ‘Merica always comes front, and B. I know my blog is blangin’ internationally and wish not to confuse my foreign patrons. Cheerio good mates cheerio! Anyways, football to me as a child was never interesting. “Me as a child” didnt like catsup either so we can’t very well trust him anyway, can we? I was always tall for my age and would be asked at times by my elders about sports. “Breedo! How fare thee at thy ball of foot?” they would inquire, “Nay sir I fare not.” would be the solemn answer. “Tis a shame child, ’tis a mighty shame. Thou dost “wreck” thine competition.” Alas it was not to be. At the time I didn’t see the excitement in it, the majesty if you will. But now? Now I behold the majesty in all it’s glory like a half-eaten bacon sandwich warmed under the midday sun.

I got my hands on a copy of NCAA Football 2010 a few days ago. I subsequently played it for a total of 17 hours in a 3 day stretch with my good friend Mr. Peabody. Thats sportsmanship people. Mr. Peabody and I were living out all of our NCAA fantasies…the ones without the cheerleaders anyway…and even got to participate in the first ever Sacred Bowl, the unpalpable university of Kentucky against the esteemed University of Rutgers. This is a game that could happen at some point in the future and if it does I hope that I am there, witnessing it with my own eyes, but for now I must settle on the thousands of pixels grinding against eachother in unregulated bliss, known as the “Play Now” Mode. There’s a lot of different modes in this game, some I haven’t even tried yet, but one did stick out as my favorite…known simply as the Road to Glory. (RTG if you’re into slang. I am.)

RTG is basically pretending I’m in an alternate universe where instead of learning astrophysics and magic, I learned football. You make a “dude” and cover him in all the slimes that you feel necessary to make him yours, much like when you first got a pog as a child and had to “claim” it. We decided to make a Quarterback and see how large he could be. “Lotsa Cox” was born as a 7 foot tall 400 pound QB who went to Rape High High School. Once all that nonsense is taken care of, you get to finish out his high school senior year and try to impress scouts in the state playoffs. We made his hometown in Fayette Kentucky…fancy that…and sent him out.

Lotsa made an immediate impact in his first game throwing 6 touchdowns and winning in a blowout. He mainly did this by audibleling every run play so much so that Rape High didn’t have a single rushing yard. Mr. Peabody and I imagined his coach standing on the sidelines screaming “DAMMIT DIX YOURE A LOOSE CANNON” and then Lotsa would shout back “NAMES COX SIR”, needless to say he only ran around half of his coaches plays. Anyways we made it through the games easily enough stomping all the competition and won the championship. Then Lotsa was presented with the colleges that had offered him a contract, which was literally every school in the game. The neat thing about this is you don’t get to start everywhere though as obviously number one Florida doesn’t need a rookie quarterback so theres accurate depth charts, at least for the 2010 season. We considered going to Florida but decided since Lotsa was our first slime covered football child that we’d keep him home, he went to the University of Kentucky.

OMG ERIN ANDREWS

Here’s where I’d like to mention a connecting point of the whole RTC experience. Erin Andrews. The sideline reporter who I guess some people find attractive from the loading screens (PLAY ROAD TO GLORY FOR YOUR CHANCE TO BE FOLLOWED BY ERIN ANDREWS…YES…THE ERIN ANDREWS) I guess she’s pretty enough but that’s not the point I’m heading towards. What we noticed was that throughout your entire career, which is 5 years long mind you, she wears the same clothes in the videos. I understand she can’t wear a completely different outfit in every scene but one for ALL of them? Seriously? Mr. Peabody and I kept expecting her to come on the screen welcome us to the RTG segment and then beg to be freed from her invisible captors, “Please someone help…they’re not feeding me…” and then her producer yells “YOU EAT WHAT YOU KILL” and throws a rabbit on stage. Alright maybe we didn’t expect that exactly but she could have at least worn 3 or 4 different outfits. We probably wouldn’t have even noticed then.

Alright so this is also a good time to mention we changed Lotsa’s name to Breedo Jackson, deciding that as he matured so did his name, plus the other players were making fun of him . Breedo was the starting QB for UK so there was no reason to run practices which was great and got us to the games that much quicker. The first game was upon us quickly and it was against a pretty weak opponent. That didn’t stop Breedo from having what we dubbed as “the shakes” however. The shakes happen when your player is nervous or made a mistake, and it’s especially susceptible in happening at an away game. It causes your player to forget button assignments and routes and the controller to vibrate to express his nerves. No big deal we figured, Breedo can handle the pressure of his first ever college game. Well, we weren’t exactly right…his first game was probably his worst, but we did win and the shakes left him alone for the most part after that barring a few tough road games. Speaking of tough games the second start of his career was against number one ranked Florida, who beat us in a 62-64 triple overtime victory. We decided this game was too good to try to replay and left the loss in the books, especially after it awarded us an “Instant Classic” title.

I must stop here and really iterate how much this game felt like a real NCAA game. I was at the UK victory over number one ranked LSU two years ago and it was probably the best “football” experience I’ve taken part in. NCAA 2010 somehow manages to recreate that excellent tension and heavy air with amazing likeliness. Both Mr. Peabody and I thought that it was almost as good as a real game, and he wasn’t even playing.

I ran this play like 60 times, Magnum was a glorious man.

So we continued Breedo’s freshman season and didn’t lose another game. He broke numerous school and NCAA records but for some reason still lost the Heisman at the end of the year. Also despite Kentucky’s amazing play in the SEC we never broke in the top 10 in the polls. We considered maybe the game has the bias that the NCAA holds to create more “realism” but I’d hope they’d let you be number one with anyone. I think it had more to do with our team only had two real star players and if Breedo had been injured or something they’d probably lose to any of the top 10 teams. Speaking of that the other star player besides Breedo was his “X” button wide receiver, a man we dubbed as Magnum. Magnum was in the running for the Heisman as well having broken a few records but didn’t win either. We ended up in the Capital One bowl against Michigan and had a very solid overtime victory in it. All in all I’d be happy if Kentucky came anywhere close to this bowl in actuality, so I can’t be discouraged we didn’t make the NCAA Championship or anything.

We did start on the next season and it appears to consider Kentucky a powerhouse now, mainly because Breedo is still on the team. We got some good recruits and were even ranked preseason and as of the last time I played we were 9th in the nation, after only 5~ games.

There are some other game modes we tried out and the same screen multiplayer is a blast but overall the Road to Glory mode was by far my favorite. I would like to try it at other positions, especially those that can’t audible to make the play include more action from them. The best part is that if you aren’t on the field or don’t like the play call you can just skip it and let the computer simulate it…not that you’d do this as a quarterback on offense but for a runningback it’d be helpful to skip those dang pass plays.

All in all I’d definitely recommend the game if you have any interest in College Football, but if you do you probably know all about it. If you don’t and are lookin for somethin different and new it could be up your alley though. I’ll talk about somethin’ less sporty next time probably Aion or Champions Online but until then I leave you with my favorite song off the new Protomen CD Act II called “The Good Doctor”.

Breedo thinks A. Merica would be the best name ever.

Cataclysm confirmed?

Go human hunters!

Theres a hefty front page news post on www.mmo-champion.com that entails everything they’ve learned about for the new WoW expansion from their sources. The track record for MMO Champ’s front page is pretty great for this type of thing so it’s definitely more than idle speculation. So what exactly did they break?

Oddly enough the next expansion won’t be directly tied to the Maelstorm like was speculated by most (including me!). It’ll instead be the other idea I mentioned briefly in my original expansion post. Instead of introducing a new island chain, MMO-Champ describes a changed Azeroth torn asunder by a “cataclysm”…fitting.  However, it does seem like the naga and black dragonflight are still the major villains as thought before. Using phasing quest lines and completely changing a few zones causing a cataclysm is very possible…but why this instead of something new?

A large portion of the player base has been asking for a revival of Azeroth or vanilla WoW. I’m not sure how I feel on the matter yet, I need to see more in action but I can see the appeal. It would be great to fight C’thun and some other great old world instances and areas but it’s also a double edged sword as it won’t feel completely new. If they do it right though it won’t need to feel new, it can just feel “changed” which really could be even better than new as instead of doing the same “new continent grind”, you can finally feel as a permanent member of a world thats changing around you. This is something mmo’s have been trying to do for a very long time. If Blizzard manages to nail it it could be pretty spectacular, but I’m slow to believe as it’s never been done before…unless you count the transition between Everquest 1 and EQ 2.

Speaking of the EQ cataclysm this has a very similar feel to it. I didn’t play much of EQ2 but I was quite the avid player of the original. Sony had a very similar event happen between the two games that allowed players to experience a distant future of the lives they lived in EQ1. It almost seems like if Blizzard does go through with this it could be better suited as a complete sequel to WoW, like Sony did with EQ. It’s a lot of work containing all these different events in one game and convincing players they’re still a part of them. Theres a few other problems as well, the major one being with all this phasing how will you group with your friends? For example if you’ve seen part of a cliff explode and crush a town and your friend hasn’t will the two of you be able to do quests together from that town? Or will your friend have to catch up first? Alright so besides the theme, what exactly are the main points that MMO broke?

Well first up is the level cap being raised to 85. This seems like it would bring half the content as the other expansions but in reality I think it allows Blizzard to make more “high end” content, which in actuality is great for most of their player base. The problems with it though are that there will only be 5 talents added in each tree but really it seems like they’re stretched thin on new talent ideas as it is so this was probably coming. It also allows them to slowly inch us up to 100 which has been stated as the eventual game ending cap.

The other major point has been talked about for a few weeks now but they’re confident enough to say that Worgen are going to Alliance and Goblins are going to horde. The Worgen to Alliance is pretty obvious, it brings a beastial orc type race to the allies and fits their needs in the expansion. The Goblin one is a little more of a reach but considering what MMO reported about the catacylsm destroying most of their towns it seems like they’d need to reach out for help once again. If they pull a gnomish style “exiles of steamwheedle” for the horde goblins it would fit fairly easily into the lore. The thing that stuck out to me is the oddly specific part where it mentions Goblins saving Thrall from the Alliance and realizing their place with the Horde because of it. That part is a bit confusing as if the rest of the article is true than Thrall isn’t even going to be leading the Horde anymore but I’ll touch on that a bit later.

Now to a really interesting part. Instead of a new hero class Blizzard is going to allow certain race/class combos that should have probably existed before to work now. Basically they’re adding a few classes to every race. I’ll link the list and under it give my thought on why they’re being added:

Human Hunter: This ones probably the most obvious of them all. Humans hunters are already in the game in various places and really its not a stretch to believe they’re finally added.

Ex. Houndmaster Loksey http://www.wowwiki.com/Ranger http://www.wowwiki.com/Farstrider_Lodge

Orc Mage: Orcs already have warlocks which when it all comes down to it are basically mages corrupted by demon magics. Really theres no reason they shouldn’t already have mages. The most prominent of them would probably be Med’an and this is a perfect chance to introduce him into WoW.

Night Elf Mage: This one seems like it’s out of nowhere but in actuality its not that farfetched. Just take a look at the Shendalar in Dire Maul. They’re still Night Elves although they are Highborne as well and theres no reason they’d be forced to remain in exile, especially during a catastrophe like this.

Ex. Prince Tortheldrin http://www.wowwiki.com/Shen’dralar

Blood Elf Warrior: This is one Blizzard said they wanted at Burning Crusade launch but dropped to include hunters instead. It’s obvious the blood elves would and do have warriors in their society so this is a logical choice. Ex. http://www.wowwiki.com/Silvermoon_City_Guardian

Dwarf Mage: This one was included in the alpha and maybe even beta stages of testing but was dropped before the game was released. The fact is theres tons of dwarven arcane casters spread throughout the world and with such a close connection to gnomes and humans theres no reason they wouldn’t be able to learn.

EX. http://www.wowwiki.com/Sorcerer-thane_Thaurissan

Dwarf Shaman: For the normal Ironforge dwarf this one doesn’t really fit at all but when you take into consideration the Wildhammer dwarf its a very easy solution. These are dwarves that have been at nature for hundreds of years…they’ve found better ways to survive. One of those ways is an appreciation of nature, moreso than any of their brothers before them.

Ex. http://www.wowwiki.com/Wildhammer_Clan

Undead Hunter: If a human can be a hunter than they can keep their abilities even in death. The Forsaken have a few hunter examples but the main one is

http://www.wowwiki.com/Nathanos_Blightcaller

Tauren Paladin: This is by far the most confusing choice. As of now theres really no lore in the game or otherwise that suggests the Tauren have any connection to the Light. What this means is if they are included something will be added much like the Naaru for Blood Elves for the Taurens so that it fits. The main speculation is that it will be a “Sun” tribe who worships the light the sun brings and recieves similar powers as a blood elf, human, or dwarf paladin. This is the only source so far: http://static.mmo-champion.com/mmoc/images/news/2009/august/injuredcolleagues.jpg

Tauren Priest: If the taurens can understand the Light enough to be a paladin it isn’t much of a stretch to believe they can become priests as well. The more gentle natured light worshipping Tauren would fit into this role. Like the Paladin theres no real sources for this.

Gnome Priest: I love this one. It’s something I’ve been waiting for since the beginning of WoW…a gnome healer. Some think it makes no sense for gnomes to use the light but in my mind theres no reason for a curious gnome to not get enamored with the Light like any gets enamored with Arcane magic or Demonology. If this is true I’ll be very happy with it.

EX. http://www.wowwiki.com/Nethergarde_Cleric (various race healer npcs in Blasted Lands that include gnomes)

Troll Druid: With the huge variety of trolls in the world this ones not a far stretch. Theres obviously some trolls who understand nature well enough to use the powers that a druid harnasses. The only problem with it is that the Night Elves probably won’t be so quick to accept them into Moonglade but who’s to say Moonglades even standing after this?

EX http://www.wowwiki.com/Zul’Aman http://www.wowwiki.com/Gundrak

Alright so after going through those it leaves all the sides even on their class distrubution except the Alliance with Druids. This causes many to speculate that Worgens will be able to be Druids which is very odd but it’s probably pretty likely. Maybe the connection to their feral side leads them to the worship of nature or something along that line. It’s not certain of course as it could be left uneven but I doubt that will be the case. Another part of the MMO post states some of the changes the world will experience. Let’s take a look:

• The Barrens will be split into two separate zones of two different level bands.
• Azshara will become a low level (~10-20) zone.
• Some of the zones like the Thousand Needles will be flooded.
• Durotar is wrecked and apparently Orgrimmar could be destroyed. A new Orc city is rebuilt over the course of the expansion.
• Gnomeregan will be part of the expansion as well and gnomes might be able to reclaim their capital. (The last part is still unconfirmed)
• Wailing Caverns will be become a lush tropical area as a result of the druid’s magic.
• The Blackrock Spire will erupt and a new version of Blackrock Mountains will be available, apparently Ragnaros will be back too.

First off splitting the Barrens, destroying Orgrimmar and making Azshara a low level zone means that the brunt of the destruction will be on the center of Kalimdor. Thousand Needles becoming flooded and Wailing Caverns a lush paradise make me think that a wave will wash over the middle of the continent crushing a huge part of the landmass and taking a large chunk underwater. Azshara as a lowbie zone means to me that this might be where the new Orc capital will be built making Azshara the newbie area for Orcs and Trolls. Gnomeregan being a part of the expansion is huge in my book as I can’t wait to take that city back finally…hopefully for good. Finally Blackrock Spire erupting and the return of Ragnaros sounds neat but I really hope its a completely new set of instances as I can’t see myself doing Molten Core or BRD and having a good time. /shudder

He finally got his PHD!

No mention of Theramore and Jaina so it seems that her nation is still in tact. Same goes for both Alliance home cities on Kalimdor as they were too far north to be hit by the devastation. It seems like this is a major change for the Horde but other than Gnomer the Alliance won’t see a huge hit to their cities or in a broader sense their lore. Speaking of the lore MMO has revealed that Thrall will give up his position as warchief of the Horde and become The Guardian of Tirisfal. This seems like a major stretch as Thrall has never been anything but a Horde figure however if they do something drastic at the end of Lich King I could see it happening. The part that confuses me though is where he leaves Garrosh in control. I mentioned my dislike of Garrosh before but it’s obvious he’s supposed to be seen as a brash idiot currently and if he’s made Warchief and matched with the “Alliance King” Varian it’s going to be anything but peaceful.

The part that bothers me about Varian is the Alliance is five self contained groups working towards a common goal, they do not have a common “leader”. Making Varian into the spokesperson of the Alliance is a bit ridiculous in my book as any of the faction leaders would have the same sway that he does with their own people, unlike Thrall who holds the power of the entire Horde in his voice. The other thing of note is that it appears Tauren Chief and good friend of Thrall, Cairne Bloodhoof isn’t making it to the next expansion. Apparently he’s outed as a traitor by Garrosh…of all people…who then murders him. I think if this actually happens itll be either that, after Cairnes murder Thrall can’t stop the Horde from slipping into their past ways like he’d hoped by himself and seeks help from the folks of Tirisfal…OR…Thrall leaves Cairne in charge of the Horde, a much more obvious choice than Garrosh…and Garrosh murders him in cold blood to take the title of Warchief that he believes is his.

Either way if this happens the Taurens by all means shouldn’t be friendly with the Horde anymore. It’d be akin to Varian murdering Magni or something (not that that could happen =P). By all accounts the Horde would be in complete upheavel and the Taurens would do the ironic thing and actually become the traitors that Cairne never was and join the Alliance. I don’t see this as likely to happen but it’s what I think would happen if Cairne was murdered by a member of the Horde…at least in my book. Another point I’d like to make out is that currently the Alliance and Horde are about the same in moral ambiguity. They both have their examples of cruelty and heroism and neither is truly evil or truly good. If all of this does come to fruition the Horde will definitely start heading down the darker road. The murder of one of their leaders the destruction of their town and the seat of power handed to an angry child, this is definitely the makings of a brand new war.

The problem is most players who play Horde don’t consider themselves evil. If Blizzard goes down this path it definitely seems they’re trying to make the Horde the evil faction choice which I think is a bad thing. It’s like they’re trying to match WAR which has a very obvious good side and very obvious bad side but I don’t think theres any reason for it. The Horde can evolve on their own without devolving into the savage uncontrollable force they were for years.

Other things of note include revamped dungeons and flying mounts in Azeroth. I mentioned earlier I don’t particularly look forward to doing Molten Core 2.0 myself but if they change it into something new and different I could be swayed. Flying mounts in Azeroth were never that big of a deal to me, you could tell they hadn’t ever planned on it happening so I never let myself believe it’d be patched in or anything. I mean really the amount of time needed for such a minimal change would have been ridiculous to undertake if not for a return to the old zones…which seems to be exactly what this expansion is aiming for. Overall I think flight and revamping can give the player a better connection to the world if they’re done right and not just simple rehashes…cough cough Naxx.

So all in all this expansion concept does show some promise and it’s great to see Blizzard shaking things up a bit. I just hope they can pull through and keep it interesting. I haven’t had that problem yet so here’s hopin’.

Breedo knows that when two suns are shining, the battle becomes blinding.

How I would end Monk.

I don’t watch Monk. Not ever. I’ve seen a total of maybe an entire two episodes in bits and pieces.  So you’re probably thinking “Who the hell do you think you are, comin in here all grandiose and magnificent swaggerin’ about like you know who Adrian Monk is. I’ve been watching him since he was on Wings!” Well let me tell you something my friend, I know enough to write gripping television. I’ve learned from the commercials and the small amount I’ve seen to come up with an episode even I could enjoy. I like to call it: “Mr. Monk and the heart of darkness.”

So from what I’ve gathered, Monk for these 7 seasons has been a obsessive compulsive detective with an “assistant” who plays the straightface to his oddball antics that often lead to humor and clever solving of mysteries. I’ve also learned that Monk had a wife and she was murdered by someone whom Monk’s never been able to catch…his only failure. Apparently her name was Trudy and she died in a carbomb…a friggin carbomb? Okay…

INT. MONK’S HOUSE

ADRIAN MONK is sitting straight up in a suit watching a home video. It’s very late at night. We can only see his face from the perspective of the television. The television is watching him. The colors change but his eyes never blink. We can hear the faint sound of a woman laughing.

Monk:

Trudy…

The screen goes black. We come back to MONK standing his back to us now, a brazen siloutte against the white fuzzy snow of his television. Monk takes a deep breath, then two deliberate steps. He pauses turns towards the couch and wipes the wrinkles out of the seat cushion. He continues into the kitchen.

INSERT: A closeup of Monks feet as they touch the porcelain kitchen floor.

Monk takes a glass from his cabinet and begins to pour some water. His hand shakes violently. The glass slips from his grasp. It crashes into the ground. Elgar’s “The Enigma Variations” beings to play. Monk looks down at the broken glass and whispers

Monk

Trudy……..

Monk violently slams his fist into the counter, turns abruptly and throws a stool into the glass cupboard. It shatters and the stool breaks. He kicks over another stool but loses his balance and collapses wheezing on the glass covered floor.

Fade scene.

INT. MONK’S HOUSE

NATALIE TEEGER lets herself in when no one answers the door. The camera follows her through the house until she arrives in the kitchen to find Monk on the floor covered in minor cuts.

Natalie

Oh Mr. Monk.

Monk opens his eyes.

Monk

I have to clean this up

Natalie

No Mr. Monk, please you must see your doctor.

Monk

My doctor is dead Natalie.

Monk stands up and goes to the closet to grab a broom. He’s sweeping as Natalie talks.

Natalie

Mr. Monk you can’t do this to yourself, you can’t do this to me! We’ve come too far for you to lose it like this we’re so close, we’ll find the guys who did it and we’ll bring them to justice.

Monk raises his eye to look at her but she can’t maintain eye contact

Natalie

Besides you have friends who care about you, we all care about you. This isn’t worth it.

Monk continues sweeping. without looking up he asks

Monk

What did they find?

Natalie

I’m not supposed to tell you.

Monk drops the broom and grabs Natalie by the shoulder. His hand digging into her shoulder like the claw of a bulldozer.

Monk

What did they find?

Natalie

A name…they finally found a name…but I can’t, I won’t tell you…not when you’re like this. Please you need help.

Monk

Yes…Yes you’re right, I need help cleaning up this mess.

FADE SCENE

Alright so now that you understand the mood I’d set for this we’d eventually lead up to the final confrontation between Monk and his wife murdering nemesis. The nemesis in this case shall be named Senator Meanface.

EXT ABANDONED AMUSEMENT PARK (NIGHT)

Monk is holding a police issued pistol at arms length aimed at an elderly woman. Her back is to a ferris wheel and he’s standing 10 feet away, eyes unblinking.

Senator Meanface

You…you think you’re going to shoot me? Don’t make me laugh.

Monk

Why? (long pause) Why? WHY?

Senator Meanface

Are you really so dense? Did you think you’d never made enemies in all your years as a policeman?

Monk

Who are you?

Senator Meanface

My sister. You wouldn’t remember her she was just a no name drug dealer you caught in your vice days. What you didn’t realize was during her time in prison she was brutally murdered for some superficial reason.  A reason I never learned. I thought I would return the favor, I thought I would make you hurt like I hurt.

Monk

You have no idea how I hurt

Monk fires the gun, clipping her in the shoulder.

SM (wincing)

I didn’t think you had it in you.

Monk

You don’t know me at all.

Monk starts the ferris wheel. The previously unseen rope around SM’s neck is revealed. It tightens around her neck.

Senator Meanface

I suppose you…think I deserve this?

Monk

I’ve been taught, in these past few years….We all get what we deserve.

SM’s feet slide across the ground shes pulled towards the ferris wheel. it lifts her slowly off the dirt.

SM

Fitting words…You…caused all of this…this was all your…All…your

SM begins wheezing as she’s hanged from the back of the ferris wheel. Monk picks up the shell from his pistol and places it within his front pocket. He lays the gun next to the wheel, carefully not to cover it in dust and turns his back on her swinging body. The lights of the ferris wheel glow around him as he walks away.

FADE SCENE

“Adagop for Strings” by Samuel Barber begins to play. A caption appears to inform the audience that the Senator’s murder was never solved. Monk was never seen again in the town of San Francisco. The words “It’s a gift… and a curse.” appear on the screen. After the credits we see Monk eating a sloppy joe. The camera zooms in on his messy face, and then pans outward to show him sitting at a picnic table. He eyes the napkin next to him…picks it up…then rips it in half with a smile on his slop covered face.

There we have it a fitting end to Monk. Not only does he escape his ocd tendancies but he even uses them to get away with murder, the very thing he’s been solving the entirety of the series. The show began with one and now 7 seasons later it ends with one, running full circle…just like the ferris wheel.

Breedo came along with his shaky knees and he came with fire.

Tekken Movie?

T is for Tekken

I noticed this today and I’m not sure how I haven’t heard of it yet but theres a listing for a Tekken film on IMDB, looking around on the ol internets I found a movie poster for it…or at least I assume it’s for it. I’m not the biggest fan of Tekken ever mind you, I enjoy the games and had a lot of fun with ‘em especially in my younger years but what stands out to me is the casting for this movie. Take a look:

	Ron Perlman	…	Paul Phoenix
	Jackie Chan	…	Lei Wulong

What? Ron Perlman AND Jackie Chan?!?! In a video game movie? Either this script is incredible or theres an unscrupulous amount of money being thrown at this thing. Most of the other actors are lesser named Kungfu movie stars and what have you but to get Jackie frickin’ Chan for a movie about a video game is pretty fantastic. I now have this on my list of things to follow. There’s no trailer yet but I can only expect good things. Speaking of trailers theres one that caught my eye recently for a movie thats not due out til next year. It’s called the Book of Eli and it stars Denzel Washington as himself.

I’m not sure what exactly he’s supposed to be carrying that could “save the human race” or why he has to carry it cross country but hey mystery is part of a good trailer. I’m mainly intrigued by how much the movie reminds me of Fallout 3 which I played a bit of and enjoyed immensely. It could be that the experience with Fallout was so good that any future post apocalyptic media will remind me of it or it could actually be that they did “take” some ideas from Bethesda. I’m more towards the former, as it does share some similar backdrops and story elements but really so did Mad Max and that predated Fallout by a decade.

The other part that caught my eye is how nonchalant Denzel Washington can be in this role. Then I got to thinking about most of his roles and how I easily believe who he is regardless of what the scene entails. Evil cop? Alright. Angry bodyguard? Sure. Civil war general? Why the hell not? It’s like Mr. Washington can fill in any role you need. The next time I write a script and can’t figure out who to play the ghost of an architect who haunts the peoples houses he built, I’ll think of Denzel…because he could do it…easily.

GI Joe came out today and I will not be seeing it for at least a few days but feel free to blow my mind with quotes from it because I know that if you read this blog you were there at opening show and have already seen the movie at least twice. So lay it out for me. Did Dennis Quaid fill the 16 inch boots of Hawk like a true American? Or did he fizzle under the weight of such a tremendous role…I must know!

Breedo is knocking over fences, crossing property lines.

Real American Heroes.

Whilst talking to my good friend and contemporary Matthew I realized that the GI Joe movie-film was due out in a mere two weeks. Two weeks until my childhood barrels into theaters guns blazing but never hitting a target. GI Joes was never my favorite cartoon, heck I don’t think it’s even in my top 10, but the show did endear to my heart after frequent adolescent viewings.  The premise in case you’re a robot with no childhood is the tried and true…army dudes fighting evil. You got your leader(Duke), the babe(Scarlet), the cool guy(Heavy Duty), and the god damn ninja (Snake Eyes). They fought terrorists before fighting terrorists was cool. Terrorists so badass they named themselves after a friggin snake, the Cobra, and dropped bombs on civilized society like it was eatin Sunday brunch with the folks.

It’s odd but I find myself remembering the villains better than the heroes, which may be why the trailers for this new movie are focusing on Destro and Cobra Commander as well as the hot chick with glasses who’s name I don’t even remember more than the Joes. This has got some people in a tizzy however(hahaaa tizzy) I read a blog earlier by a guy whos angry that “Hollywood” isn’t showing the GI Joes as patriotic enough. Don’t get me wrong…I love ‘Merica as much as the next communist killin’, apple pie eatin’ , railroad buildin’, oil tycoon can…but how American were the GI Joes anyway? I mean I don’t particularly remember an episode where they burst into a room and start reading the Emancipation Proclamation…although I do vaguely remember one where Shipwreck had to impale a nazi on an American flag.

Speaking of Shipwreck, he’s the only member of the GI Joes I have a discernable attitude towards. For the most part you can lump them all into one category, patriots…for instance Snake Eyes is a patriot ninja, but Shipwreck was…different. He and his parrot were often the comedic relief which was gladly accepted in the war torn horizons depicted in 1980’s cartoons, but he was also the main character in one of the most horrifying episodes of anything I’ve ever seen…an episode known simply as “There’s No Place Like Springfield“.

It can only get worse.

I didn’t see this episode as a child, I saw it for the first time in high school. I fear if I had seen it sooner it would have broken my fragile young mind. Basically, Shipwreck gets knocked out while fighting Cobra and when he wakes up hes in a hospital with his family around him but he has amnesia, he can’t remember he’s a Joe. He tries to remember his “new” family and his “wonderful” life but he can’t seem to get a grasp on it but at least he’s happy? So he gets to go home with his wife and daughter and  has horrifying nightmares while with them and at some point i think even blacks out  into a coma. The parrot appears at times and just mouths off omninous random things as opposed to its usual hilarious banter. It was basically his spirit beast leading him on a journey through the depths of his inner psyche and the tortured reality that Shipwreck could never be the same again.

Well anyway he decides to try and remember what his job is. He goes to “work” and its like a construction job or something and all the Joes are there, but have mundane normal jobs. This breaks the amnesia and he remembers them for who they are, and while trying to convince them he grabs one of them…and they melt. It’s not really just the melting that does it…they literally waste away in his hands with no explanation. I think his wife and daughter even show up and melt as well, but basically in the scope 3 minutes every person he trusts…everyone he loves…dissipates into a horrible glob of slime…and it’s sentient. It ATTACKS him. So we’re left with Shipwreck screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOO” as he’s enveloped by a gelatenous monster that used to be his loved ones…And the worst part is, for some reason…there was no “To be continued”.

It actually appeared that this was how they were ending the series so you can bet I was there the next night it came on and lo and behold everything was explained as an elaborate Cobra plot, but thats not what’s important. What’s important is they could show this amazing journey of Shipwrecks lost soul in a children’s cartoon. Much like his namesake, his spirit was wrecked upon the shores of life and only friendship and yelling “Go Joe!” could fix that. This episode gave me  newfound respect for the GI Joes…but futhermore a justifiable terror of Cobra, as they did something so magnficently evil I’m afraid the film won’t live up to my expectations of them.

Can a GI Joe live action movie even work? As I mentioned earlier theres a few internetmen (sort of like mitiamen except don’t sleep in other peoples houses) who believe that it can’t and that Hollywood has ruined the spirit of GI Joe but I’m not sure I agree. Sure, they took the red and blue out of the logo and got rid of the army camo but as far as we know those are the only changes and they’re pretty minor. As for being patriotic enough I don’t particularly remember anytime when I watched the cartoon that I thought, “Yeah thats how ‘Merica does it!”, the show was more for any kid regardless of nationality. I mean it seems like GI Joe prided itself on including every race and creed to their ranks, showing marginal acceptance of other nations. Why should a live action movie be any different? What exactly would the script even look like for an American GI Joe movie anyway?

Int. Cobra Hideout

The JOES are huddled in a corner behind some crates, watching COBRA COMMANDER kick puppies. The camera pans slowly over DUKE’s topless chest. You can tell his brow is furrowed by the clenching of his pecks. The camera zooms past diagonally, briefly pausing on his dogtags, glistening brightly even in the shadows of the dimly lit Cobra cave…the dogtags a beacon of hope in the darkest of times.

INSERT: A closeup of DUKE’s mouth, his rugged jawbone clenched securely as he whispers:

Duke:

Go Joe.

Other Joes (screaming):

GO JOES

SLOW MOTION PAN: The JOES erupt from their corner, all but they are black and white, each JOE is silhoutted in dark blue, their shadows a bright white. As they massacre the COBRA troops the blood hits their weapons, the ground and the walls painting an American flag in the process. Duke puts a desert eagle to Cobra Commanders forehead who is holding a puppy by its collar in one hand and a knife in the other.

Cobra Commander:

You don’t have the stones, boy.

Duke:

Drop the puppy.

Cobra Commander:

Gladly.

COBRA COMMANDER drops the puppy and lunges towards DUKE with the knife. Duke blasts a hole in COMMANDER’s face whirls around and grabs the puppy before it hits the ground. ZOOM iN on the puppy’s eye as it looks up at DUKE, a tear can be seen falling down its cheek.

Puppy:

<Heartfelt Bark>

Fade scene.

EXT Baseball Field

The JOES are playing baseball with the puppies and eating hot dogs and apple pie. Kelly Clarkson can be heard on the radio. HAWK approaches DUKE.

Hawk;

Good work out there.

Duke:

All in a day’s work, sir.

Hawk (laughing):

Yes…I suppose it is. I suppose it is.

Fade out to DUKE reading the Declaration of Independance as an eagle soars by behind the credits.

I think I could write an entire movie like this…I’m just not sure if I could get Dennis Quaid to star in it, I’d probably have to settle for Randy. I’ll leave you with a picture I found of Heavy Duty from the movie that I can really find nothing wrong with.

Did he really have to shoot up the wall behind him?

Breedo listened to Jay Z’s single DOA the entire time he wrote this post…nothing more American than that.

Quiktops…or How one invention can save mankind.

The other day while viewing the magical looky box I discovered a commercial for a certain product. I couldn’t find the exact advertisement, to my dismay…but I did come close. But for the grace of god go I:

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? ~Stanislaw J. Lec

The Modern Gentleman’s Quiktop is quite possibly the greatest invention in the history of mankind. It will change your life. How often have you been devastated at your own lack of coordination as a beverage plummets from your hand, its innards splashed across your most precious of Oriental rugs? No more declares Quiktop. No more shall we be bound by the cruel hand of gravity, snatching our sodas from us in our time of thirst only to thrust them upon the ground in an act of childish defiance. Gravity is jealous of us, our astronauts, our pilots, our sculptors. We’ve escaped it’s talons and now it seeks vengeance with its brother in arms…the canned beverage.

Canned drinks have been at war with mankind since their inception in the early 1970s. When Richard Nixon accidentally spilled a can of water onto the carpet of his hotel room the ramifications lead directly to his resignation as president. Watergate, as it were, began with one spilled can…if only there had been Quiktop. Researched in highly classified labs by leading geneticists, engineers, plastic barons, magicians, and a single dog groomer, Quiktop is a specialized tool built to save mankind.

Not usually known for my graph humor.

Some marvel at the ingeniousness of it, the simplistic design coupled with the blatant audacity it takes to build such a device. Others say it wasn’t so much as crafted but born, brought upon us by knowledge from the stars…not yet fully understood but a natural progression realized for the good of mankind. Holding a Quiktop in the palm of your hand, placing it upon a can…that must be what life is for.

Quiktops values are understanding and natural. Once you’ve used it, there is no reason to live without it…to even consider living without it would be akin to blasphemy. Quiktop delivers upon us a basic but neccessary list of uses detailed below:

• There shall be no spill. This is priority one, when using a Quiktop you are no longer bound by the laws of physics for liquids and solids. The very rules of existence bend before you as malleable play-doh in a child’s toy box…that has not been left out.
• There shall be no flat. Much like Columbus, the Quiktop believes the world is not flat and thus beverages must conform. No more shall we put our lips upon cold steel to taste the terrible carbonless liquid shame that is a flat cola.
• There shall be flies or wasps. Bugs are a blight on the backs of drink consumers everywhere. With the Quiktop they can no longer reign free to terrorize your tasty fluids, they are in check. If the Quiktop can bend the laws of physics it can also bend the rules of space, giving your beverage a safe haven from the terrible world it inhabits.
• There shall be only convenience. The Quiktop must never come between the consumer and the beverage, this is the golden law. If you wish to use a sipping utensil then by all means the Quiktop will provide. It may even, if you require, deliver the contents of the can upon you by opening it should your hands be too tired from worshiping it.

The Quiktop is a monumental life-changing device that must be welcomed with open cans. We cannot afford to pass up this opportunity as a society. I wish to bestow upon you a final thought, no, a dream. I dream of a world where no libation is subdued, no beverage is vanquished. Only thirst may be quenched, the drinks must never be. This is a dream we are capable of realizing, a land free of the hapless monkey gravity gnawing at our feet, and his tormenting brother thirst clawing at our throats. In a world of Quiktop…in the perfect world…we may all be free, we may all…fly.

Breedo is waiting for the Quiktop movie starring Nicholas Cage.

PC Gamin’ Extravaganza

It’s been a while since I happened uponst the internets and made a post so I figured I’d type something up just to get the gumption goin’. I don’t have anything in particular to talk about for this one and in fact haven’t even named it yet but lets see what happens.

I’ve been playing a few different PC games recently so i’ll start with that. First off, I just got Plants vs Zombies, it was kind of neat for a while but it quickly lost it’s appeal for me. Some people herald it as a glorious magical super-fun zombie killing plant simulation experience, and I cannot fault them for the facts in that statement, it just wore thin for me. They spice the gameplay up every few levels and if I spent more time it might grow on me…no pun intended…but I really think I’d perfer to play a Warcraft 3 tower defense mod.

I also have been playing Neverwinter Nights 2 sporadically in hopes to prepare myself for Dragon’s Age: Orgins when it comes out in October. The Neverwinter series hasn’t really ever been a staple in my gaming cabinet, mind you, I’m as much into Dungeons and Dragons as any self respecting geek should be but I just was never huge on the idea of dice rolling in a video game…unless you count that one time I wanted to make an open world Monopoly MMO…THIMBLE LFG 4 BOARDWALK HAS EPICS…Don’t hate.

The problem is you don’t see Diablo showing me the number I roll to hit the several thousand pterodactyl-zombies storming down on my grill, instead it simply splashes their blood as they meet my cold hard steel. NWN is like the thinking mans Diablo. They’ve replaced guts with math. You have to pause the game and strategize, what spells should I use? Should I even use spells? Who’s on the frontline? Why is my bard not wearing pants? These are all critical questions you wouldn’t bother with in most dungeon crawling adventure games…but that’s why NWN is different.

Neverwinter Nights 2 brings about a ridiculous amount of customization I was truthfully not expecting. I haven’t played Dungeons and Dragons for a couple years now…I know…blasphemy…but I try to at least take a look every now and then to see what ridiculousness is blowing about. NWN 2 harnesses all of that wayward crazyness, the rampant amount of DND knowledge, and makes a computer game out of it thus creating a DND experience without the usual apple flipz and cursing. Actually I did have a fair share of cursing as the game can be surprisingly hard, but thats for later.

The customization starts when you make a character, who, if you have all the expansions can be anything from a normal halfling rogue scamp who’s loved by all to a hate mongering war-king from the plane of fire whos hair burns as bright as his fury. This is the level of customization in DND now? I can be a dude made of rocks?!? Count me in. After that you choose your class which again gives you a ridiculous amount of choices…like Spirit Shaman which even after reading the description I have no idea what it is, and Swashbuckler which I’m sure, involves a fair bit of buckling the swash. Not to mention theres 15+ prestige classes you can’t even be yet. The game does not lack in the customization department.

Dynamite Jack, The Flaming Dragon.

I settled on a Half-Drow monk that I named Tyr. Now the story starts out and you’ve got a foster dad in this quaint little village. I love how you can be a super evil psychotic half orc serial killer with a ‘foster’ dad in a ‘quaint’ town but I digress…Tyr may have been a bad choice for a name because apparently in NWN the monks all worship Tyr. They literally have a monastery named after him. I was completely confused when I entered it and thought maybe it was named after your character no matter what but no, somehow I named my character after the god of my class choice…very peculiar.

So Tyr met some new pals and went on big adventures saving the world from evil. I’m a good 12 hours in so far and I’m not sure how long the story is but it’s still pretty interesting. I found that apparently I’m too ‘good’ when I play these games as I went from lawful neutral to lawful good fairly quickly in the events of the story. I do want to play through again and be as evil as I can murdering people left and right, but for this run through I just answered how I would answer if I were a half drow monk whos mom was murdered by demons or something…that parts still a little vague.

Chicks dig mysterious men...in opera masks.

As I mentioned earlier the game does randomly amp up the difficulty like crazy sometimes. I entered a house for a sidequest, died and reloaded probably a dozen times before finally beating the guards. I’m not sure if they were just higher level or if I was doing it completely wrong but eventually after many loading screens I feasted upon their cakes and sold their swords. Thats another scary part of the game, the loot.

Theres tons of things that can drop some completely useless others…ridiculously good. For instance in some random dungeon I didn’t even have to enter I got a morning star that made my next 3 hours worth of fighting trivial. The loot used for crafting is even more confusing as theres an extraordinary amount of it. I’m not much a fan of crafting in my games, it’s a nice touch for some but I don’t usually go near it. Some gamers like watching their characters make new items, I’ve never really enjoyed it past my first foray with it in Star Ocean for ps1, where it was so new it was interesting. Perhaps it was Everquest’s Coldain Shawl quest that killed crafting for me…I may never know…

My shoulders, I can now brush them.

Alright so besides NWN and Plants v Zombones, I’ve tried out the new Battlefield shooter for PC thats a ‘freemium’ game from EA, Battlefield Heroes. The concept is simple, earn in game ‘money’ to buy items or buy the ‘money’ yourself with cash and get it faster. Theres a level cap if you’re not paying but it doesn’t hinder the experience so really the entire game can be enjoyed for free. I’m not really a huge fan of Battlefield games, vehicles were never my forte, but this did remain fun for a good duration.

The goals are the norm for a BF game, drive a vehicle to an area, capture and defend it. The class system is still in place and theres an obvious art reference from TF2, with a more playful style than normal Battlefield fare. The gameplay is rather simple but theres a solid amount of maps to keep things interesting. My favorite part of the entire experience was literally sitting my character on the wing of a biplane firing a gatling gun as my friend flew it. Gravity does not effect MrBrundo.

Out of game, the interface is very clunky but It’s still basically in beta so I can forgive it, logging in can be a hassle and it can also be very annoying to buy guns as it sometimes won’t count your coins. Also finding your friends can be a headache if the server gods don’t look down upon you, although I do recommend playing it with a few people you know. The best part is it’s a very quick download for a briefly enjoyable game, overall it was worth trying out. I recommend it if you’re bored and want to shoot some mans pick it up.

Of course, besides all of those I’m still playing WoW as well. Breedo’s guild 10-man managed to beat Freya tonight with 3 adds up so all we have left for Algalon is hard mode Mirmiron which some say is harder than ol’ Al himself. If anyone has any tips feel free to post ‘em we’ll be trying him next week I think. I think I may record some of our future hard modes just for fun and throw ‘em on here…assumin’ fraps doesn’t give me guff.

Oh speaking of WoW recently MMO-Champion broke the news that they believe the new races will be Goblin and Worgen. Not to blow my own horn or anything but those were totally the best picks I had in my previous post which is pretty sweet. Even had their factions right. I’m just sad there won’t be pandas, but I’m still hoping for a hero class as well.

Alrighty, I rounded this post out pretty well I think. I’ve got a few other ideas in mind for the next few posts so there should be more action on here. Oh, speaking of action, if anyone wants to play TF2 or Left 4 Dead with me my Steam info is simply Breedo now. Add me and we can tussle like kings. I think that about covers it for this update, I would like to talk about a certain beta I’m messing around in but I’ll have to wait on that one. Not to worry, I’ll put up more info when I can. Also I’d like to thank all the people commenting recently, this part of the internet is getting more and more busy everyday, I appreciate it.

Breedo can’t wait for the Park Place Expansion Pack. Now with 50% more park.